The Importance of Friendship in Marriage

In our early years, David and I put a lot of internal pressure on ourselves to keep the eros love alive in our marriage.   And rightly so.  Marriage is greatly helped weather the trials and challenges of life with some much needed sparks along the way.

But as we have really settled into life together, and thankfully, as the eros part has increased for him over the years, I feel greater freedom to enjoy our phileo friendship, which we have always had, long before we started dating.  I think this is something more taken for granted in marriages where both are straight.  In our situation, we have carried with us the burden to ‘prove’ our marriage isn’t a sham (which it never was, but the pressure is always there).

The eros isn’t gone, but we have nothing to prove to people.  We are married, we are one, we are committed.  We love each other, in eros, in phileo, and in increasing agape.

photo by americanartmuseum