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Dealing with Extramarital Attractions (Part 4)- Vegetable man update

So remember when I decided to stop being so junior high and start engaging instead of running away?  So I started saying hello to the vegetable guy in a friendly but still rather terse manner.  That was really it.  Nothing else changed.  I was proud of myself for taking a step towards normality and not junior high avoidance.

But after two weeks of this, a most unexpected thing happened.  I went to buy my weekly vegetables, and instead of leaving me alone to toss the vegetables I wanted into the baskets available for customers, he stood nearby me the whole time, and when I chose to buy something, he would reach out his hands, wait for me to give them to him, then place them in a basket himself.

Uh, WHAT?????

I’m usually totally focused on the vegetable purchasing task at hand.  What we already have at home, what we need, what I feel and don’t feel like cooking, etc.  So I didn’t notice that something was different until I found myself handing him my first batch of veggies, probably a bag of sweet potatoes.  Our hands grazed each other.  Thankfully there was no tingle, no “sparks.”

Then I was on alert.  I was too surprised to be able to  gracefully adjust to tossing my veggies into my OWN basket, thank-you-very-much, so I continued to hand them to him as long as he continued to stand there, but was super intentional to hand them in such a way that he touched the vegetables only, and not my hands!

After I got home I tried to process what happened.  My heart sank.  Maybe my decision to engage and not FLEE was a foolish idea after all.  Was this a failed experiment?

Well, life is busy, so I didn’t put too much energy into thinking about this over the following week, and before I knew it it was time to purchase vegetables again.  I was walking home after picking up the boys from school.  I usually send them on ahead so I don’t have to listen to their whining that they wanna go home while I’m trying to make calculations and wise (and tasty) purchases.  The one different thing I did today was ask them to please stay with me (I made up some excuse as to why).  I figured their presence would help send the message that I’m not available.

But Someone already had my back.  It was bustling aBt the time I went this time, and he was too busy to stand there waiting for my next bag of vegetables.  So combined with the presence of all three kids, busy time selling for him, and my determination to get my own veggies in the basket today, there was NOTHING suspect about today’s interaction.

I was SO thankful.  Hopefully it’ll be like this next week too!


[edit] whew- Things have totally returned  to normal.  Just took a couple weeks of taking my kids along.  Professional behavior immediately returned.  I’m still friendly.  I do not avoid or act junior high.  But I do choose out of direct eye contact.

One small victory won!



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