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At the End of the Day

David doesn’t know what I posted yesterday about the deceiving voices in my head when he isn’t doing well.

But as if he did, he made me a beautiful Mother’s Day card with a beautiful picture he drew of a scene reminiscent of the Japanese garden we liked to frequent during dating/ engaged days, only different, like  a new place we have never been together representing a fuller, richer life together.

Inside the card were five simple words of assurance to seal the cracks in my heart broken down from my insecurities and fears, just beginning (once again) to embrace my own lovability by both my husband and my eternal Lover of my Soul.

You are my safe  place.

Yes, he can get angry with me in the moment, and with good reason, but at the end of the day, I am his safe place.  He doesn’t have to worry if I love him, because I just do.  I may go through short spurts of not liking him very much when he is walking in his own deceptions, but at the end of the day, I love how he is made, how he is so uniquely wired, and I long to see him walking fully in who he is and doing all the things he was created to do.  I am his champion, his cheerleader, his biggest fan.  I am also the recipient of his beautiful expressions of love, often quite undeservedly so.  I don’t think I’d do very well being married to myself, but he handles me and all my eccentricities and rough edges with a delicate touch, a wisdom beyond words.  In dealing with the fragility of my feminine heart, his patience has been tried many a time, but he has risen up in manhood and has learned to love me through it.  Our marriage has been tested in this last year more severely than ever before (not SSA-related), and resolution still awaits our current life circumstances, but with very few exceptions, at the end of the day, we have found refuge in each other’s arms, doing our best to remember Whose hand we are in, the source of our ultimate safety.

I love you, babe.  I’ve got my own five words for you as we prepare to enter into a new season of life, the details of which are currently unknown to us: Let’s get this party started!



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